Why is elbows on table bad manners

Still, while some tenets of table etiquette really are quite arbitrary rules of stiff formality, other manners are simply about being polite and considering the comfort of others. The no elbows on the table rule is one of those, at least partly. This rule probably started way back in medieval times, during the famous feasts.

Imagine a big old medieval feast given by a ruler or lord. Everybody and their mother wants to go to it, and boast about how they dined with such and such. Most of these feasts would have been served on long tables with benches instead of seats.

People would pack in like sardines and there simply was no room to have your elbows on the table without jostling your neighbor and disrupting his ability to eat.

As well, such accidents could cause quarrels, or even violence to break out. Even today, if you go out to dinner with more than a couple of people, having your elbows on the table could cause a fork mishap, knock over glasses, pull the tablecloth which would also knock over things , and get in the way of the server placing dishes on the table.

This formal etiquette rule became so entrenched that a childhood rhyme was attached to it, perfect for jump-rope chants:. What do we do about it? Well, instead of worrying about the rule, just think of the personal space of those around you and the formality of the situation. With friends and family, simply consider the personal space of those around you as well. If there is plenty of room you can probably make yourself a bit more comfortable.

But once the dinner is clear and you are having a conversation, maybe with only drinks being consumed, your friends are probably not going to mind if you lean forward with your elbows on the table, etc. It was important that people could see you were doing your best to be civilized and considerate to others around you.

Failure to do so suggested your behavior was unpredictable, and you may start fighting at any moment. People could become scared when others exhibited bad table manners in the fear that a brawl was going to erupt. The general rule was to ensure that your arms remained within the confines of your tableware, which acted as a border. If you ignored the border created by your cutlery, it suggested you had a general lack of restraint. Today, while it's unlikely that your elbows will be interpreted as a threat, it is inconsiderate to put them on the table.

Whether you realize it or not, your elbows are likely encroaching on those around you. But in a causal, familiar setting, it's totally fine to do it every once in a while.

In fact, etiquette queen Emily Post is known for happily eating with her elbows on the table from time to time. By Meghan Overdeep. Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn commission.